Just 18 Really Good Tweets About Sex

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My favorite sex position is when someone makes a playlist for me

Twitter: @jaywalkingbish


when vegans have sex they ask to be artichoked. i will not be reading any replies to this tweet.

Twitter: @notviking


pee after sex or you will get a tgi friday’s

Twitter: @coolbutpoorguy


pee after sex or else you’ll get another U2 album automatically added to your phone.

Twitter: @muhcoochee


british people be having sex like:

mmmm yes splendid ah indeed scrumptious carry on good heavens i’m arriving

Twitter: @yung_butters


This girl told me she liked to be teased in the bedroom so we laid down and I said her new glasses looked stupid and she starts crying. wtf?

Twitter: @superduperkewl


Yeah sex is great but have you ever had gay sex

Twitter: @StixilFox


i was having sex once and the girl said “cum for me” and i thought she said “comfort me” so i stopped n i hugged her

Twitter: @jedifeminist


“your sex toy will be shipped in a discreet package”

the package:

Twitter: @williamvercetti


men cum in 60 seconds and say they wanna make a sex tape.. you mean a tik tok bro?

Twitter: @E11ieHamnett


“you’re so funny” thanks i did not have sex in high school

Twitter: @ElyKreimendahl


if i had premarital sex with you. you are not my ex or a body. you are a sin. i repel you in the name of god. and my body count is back to 0, amen.

Twitter: @officialmarsp


Romance: During lovemaking you ask your gf to put her finger in your butt. She does & when she pulls it out there’s an engagement ring on it

Twitter: @Leemanish


if sex before marriage is a Sin, does that make sex after marriage a Cos or a Tan? https://t.co/0SczXHP2EX

Twitter: @abdulllllaaaaaa


“losing/taking virginity”

– turns sex into an object
– places pressure on the decision
– you don’t actually lose or take anything ?

“sexual debut”

– exciting
– all focus is on u
– suggests a musical number is involved

Twitter: @lottydoes


I dead ass ate pineapples for a month and this boy told me my pussy tasted like cheetos sooo y’all lying out here

Twitter: @dominicanraq


Men will literally nut 💦 45 seconds into sex and then have the audacity to ask if you came? 🤔🙄 YEAH I CAME.. TO THE WRONG GAWDDAMN HOUSE! 🤦🏽‍♂️🙄😩

Twitter: @MilanChrisGordy


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