A giant tongue so you can get really intimate with your cat.
A teardrop-shaped bee home so you can invite lots of buzzing buddies to your yard. Maybe your parents didn’t want more bugs by their home but you sure do.
A cloud print rug made for children’s rooms and nurseries — but also adult rooms too! I happen to have this particular rug and can confirm it looks adorable if you’re going for a whimsical look.
Ooor a fluorescent rugs reminiscent of arcades and really awesome birthday parties.
Magical Flames — a cool invention that turns your boring old fire into a rainbow fire. Camping has never felt so rave-like.
A somewhat rude sticker to encourage your road rage.
And some angry cards to place in the windshield of bad parkers’ cars.
A roller lip gloss inspired by the board game classic, Candy Land. How sweet!
A 30-foot string of camping lights to make your outdoor adventures all the more magical.
A pair of socks sporting your own pup’s handsome mug, which is a great investment, OK?
A pretty privacy window film that refracts incoming light with some dazzling results. You can fill your home with whatever you like, so it might as well be rainbows.
A throw pillow cover I think you’ll find bear-y relatable.
A super soft onesie because c’mon — now is the time to own one.
A nifty spout that creates little Mickey Mouse soap dollops. Just attach to your favorite foaming soap bottle and bam! You’re basically in Disneyland.
A Mystery Machine punch bowl and some matching Scooby and Shaggy muglets – it gets my vote for best gift ever. Don’t worry, you don’t need to dress up like a ghost and pretend that your kitchen is haunted if you want to keep the set for yourself.
A pair of jumbo googly eyes, because adulthood can be lonely sometimes and everyone could use an extra friend.
An obsidian statuette carved to the likeness of your favorite Pokémon. Warning: Picking just one will be as hard as picking your starter at the beginning of a new game.
A homework/WFH helper bundle for anyone who knows the secret to a successful work day is SUGAR. This colorful kit comes with a sprinkle notebook, gummy bear pencil cup, scented erasers, rainbow candy, and animal crackers to ensure your desk is the sweetest place to be.
A pair of salt and pepper shakers that I pinky promise you absolutely need on your dinner table ASAP.
An infectious disease coloring book oozing with hours of gross relaxation. This purchase is nothing to sneeze at.
A teeny-tiny crossbody purse that my mother would gape at. There’s no room for anything! Where would you put your tissues, lip balm, mints, back-up mints, caramels, kitchen sink, book, hair ties, full first-aid kit, and the largest wallet known to man?
A bottle of invisible ink so you can keep all your love letters to your dog safe and secret.
A six-pack of fruit-topped mini cheesecakes because you know what? You deserve six decadent treats. Two for each meal.
A purrfectly adorable spoon almost as fun as those color-changing ones that came in cereal boxes.
A satanic (but respectful!) pin that absolutely deserves a place on your lapel.
A Snoopy ambient light because you’re never too old to enjoy a cute night-light.
A faux motel keychain that surely would have driven your parents batty.
A miniature deck of tarot cards on a keychain so you can do readings on-the-go.
An enormous, five-pound bag of gummy bears, because you’re financially independent and can buy your own candy, Halloween be damned.
An oversized inflatable 20-sided die for ultra-dramatic rolls for initiative. May all your rolls be gigantic nat 20s.
A Felix the Cat or Groot figure to add to your ever growing collection of Funko Pop! dolls. Listen….listen…. if my uncle thought Beanie Babies were a sound investment, then you shouldn’t feel a second of guilt for adding just ooooone more cutie pie figure to your hoard.
A pet stroller so you can take your pet iguana for a walk and startle people in the park.
A pack of cool socks with hidden designs on the toes, so you can rock a look that kid-you would love while still keeping it adult above the shoe.
A set of sloth patterned sheets just as fun as the Barney sheets you grew up with.
A one-pound bag of cheese powder so you can enjoy some elevated “box” mac n cheese whenever you want.
And a miniature wacky waving inflatable tube man in case you wanna grow up to be a used Hot Wheels salesman and need something to draw in new customers.
Here’s to being impulsive and unsupervised.
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