A two-pack of shredded gel memory foam pillows that’ll finally help you remember what it’s like to get a good night’s rest — just use your memory…foam pillow.
A set of blackout curtains so you can simply tell every sunny day, “Nope.” Enjoy sleeping in!
A 10-motor massage mat — the lumbar area heats up to 140 degrees in less than eight minutes and it has three vibration intensity levels to choose from. This is the perfect gadget to get anyone who finds falling asleep a pain in the neck.
A chiliPAD bed cooler – it’s gonna make one or both sides of your bed cold from the bottom up, so the human heater you sleep beside is finally able to sleep as cold as they want (even with the covers on).
An aromatherapy spray that’ll soothe your senses and help you sleep through the unnecessary stressers that creep into your mind at night.
A silk pillowcase to help prevent bedhead and pillow creases on your face in the mornings *and* help you slip into a silky smooth slumber every night.
A Lasko tower fan — with its three power speeds, fab air flow, and *perf* white noise, this thing is gonna help you fall sound asleep practically as soon as it ships.
A down-alternative comforter — once you wrap yourself up in this you’ll wish you could live in it for the rest of your days. Well, the rest of your nights.
A memory-foam mattress topper so you can sleep more comfortably even if getting a new mattress isn’t happening any time soon.
A knee pillow that’ll provide therapeutic support and give you a ~leg up~ when you need to start sleeping with proper sleep posture.
An alarm clock for teaching your children when they’re allowed to leave their room, giving you slightly more shut-eye in the A.M. Update the settings to your family’s schedule and this lil’ helper will light up when the kids are allowed to get up and out of bed.
A pack of light-dimming covers that’ll mellow out the bright lights on your electronics that keep you up at night. Sweet dreams are made of…darkness.
A natural latex pillow formed with zoned pressure relief — a pillow this ~holy~ is sure to give you a heavenly night’s sleep.
A bottle of Melatonin tablets for folks who are in need of the sweet taste of sleep.
An eye mask that’ll prevent any light from coming in, even when you open your eyes, so you can finally start falling asleep in the blink of an eye.
A bulk box of Sleepytime herbal tea with a soothing blend of chamomile, spearmint, and lemongrass that’s gonna help you wind down at the end of a long day. Sip, sip, hooray!
A pack of sound-dampening door bumpers so you’ll no longer be jolted awake by the sounds of your night-owl roommate and, more importantly, *they* won’t wake up to the sound of you sneaking into their snack cabinet after they fall asleep.
A Brooklinen pillow filled with down clusters, feathers, and a 100% cotton satin shell for equipping your bed with the very best when you plan to spend the majority of your weekends in it.
A Dohm sound machine — a best-selling “white noise” machine that mimics the soothing sound of rushing air. With two speeds and a customizable volume, this thing is gonna drown out any random sounds that try creeping into your dreamland at night.
A smooth satin pajama set that’ll feel sinfully silky on your skin and make you question how you ever fell asleep before slipping into these.
A marble patterned essential oil diffuser to create a calm atmosphere that really ~rocks~ before you fall asleep.
A set of cooling sheets that’ll regulate your body temperature and keep you from ~sweating it~ when you try to fall asleep.
A calming hemp patch you can throw on yourself right before you throw yourself on the couch for a hearty mid-day snooze.
A body pillow that’s sure to be the best sleeping companion you’ve ever had. Honestly with this thing, a good night’s sleep won’t just seem like a dream.
Or a soothing lavender scented pillow that’ll totally smell like some fresh floral REM.
A Philips wake-up light, which simulates the sunrise, letting you wake up without a blaring alarm clock. It also has a sunset setting, with dimming lights and sound features, so you can calm down at night and drift off to sleep with ease.
A pair of fuzzy, warm socks to wear if your partner likes the bedroom so cold you’re worried your toes might fall right off your feet while you sleep. These solve that concern, and look lovely while they’re at it!
An inflatable neck pillow (with a hood) is gonna help you enjoy some anti-social sleep, even from the “comfort” of economy class.
Or an inflatable wedge pillow that’ll give you some personal space (albeit, minimal) and help you sleep soundly even when you’re stuck in the middle seat the next time you travel.
A cool mist humidifier for alleviating a stuffy nose and dry skin while you sleep.
A weighted blanket to get adults or children who have a hard time calming down at bedtime and need to feel extra tucked-in at night with a warm weight around them.
Or a real life adult swaddle that’s gonna save you from insomnia and have you sleeping so soundly, your baby’s gonna be jealous.
A Casper mattress, the hype beast of sleep, with a top layer designed to minimize excess heat and high-density memory foam. Get yourself a Queen or King, you deserve to sleep like royalty.
And finally, a funny pillow that’ll remind you a nap is often the best medicine.
My subconscious when my husband tries to wake me up from a nap: