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It’s December…also known as the month when you hear lots and lots and LOTS of Christmas songs!
NBC
Well, whether you love them or hate, there’s a 96.4% chance you will find these tweets about them funny:
1.
Paul McCartney’s “Wonderful Christmastime” is about friends practicing witchcraft but then someone walks in and they have to suddenly play it cool
2.
What part of “ ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU!” Don’t you understand?
3.
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day
You stuffed it underneath the floorboards with the rest of my corpse until the sound of my heartbeat intensified your descent into madness
4.
this is a yearly reminder that santa baby is the fucking weirdest christmas song
5.
![[to the tune of "santa baby"]
yoda baby
make some serotonin for me
yes please](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1300190139591909376/PHruJucY_normal.jpg)
[to the tune of “santa baby”]
yoda baby
make some serotonin for me
yes please
6.
british christmas carols:
1st verse: we wish you a merry christmas
chorus: good will generally to all men
2nd verse: we want figgy pudding
3rd verse: where is the figgy pudding?
4th verse: threat of collective action if figgy pudding isn’t served
7.
who the fuck wrote the batman remix to jingle bells
8.
It’s the most wonderful time of the year
9.
there are two Americas: the one that hears jingle bell rock and thinks Home Alone and the one that thinks Mean Girls
10.
Not a lot of people know this, but in Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree, when they sing about dancing “in the new old-fashioned way” they mean anal.
11.
bro if you don’t have yourself a holly jolly christmas we are going to have some fucking problems
12.
The kids asked if they could write “Let It Snow” on the windows… the bottom is what can be seen from the road.
13.
It’s not the holidays until you’ve downloaded 8 versions of “have yourself a merry little Christmas” and cried to all of them alone in your apartment
14.
when i was a kid i didn’t realize that the song “i saw mommy kissing santa claus” implied that daddy was santa claus, i just thought “holy fuck mommy’s an adulterer!!!!!!”
15.
This holiday season I’m gonna rescue the lady from “Baby it’s Cold Outside” and punch that creepy man in the privates.
16.
I never understood how the little drummer boy’s parents could just send him outside alone at night to play his drum until my daughter brought a recorder home from school.
17.
Little Drummer Boy: I have no gifts, but I’ll play for you on my drum.
Mary: *harsh whisper* The baby is sleeping. What’s wrong with you?
18.
I am sorry to tell you that no matter what you may have heard recently there is no good version of the song Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer. It is a terrible song, which is why it’s for children. See also: Frosty the Snowman
19.
And then! AND THEN!!!!! Some random guy pays for the shoes and writes an entire song about how amazing he is for doing it which the kid then has to hear on the radio every year to remind him of his dead mom for the rest of his life. Amazing.
Christmas songs! Christmas songs!
Comedy Central
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