18 Tweets About Sex That Are Better Than Sex

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1.

My favorite sex position is when someone makes a playlist for me


Twitter: @jaywalkingbish

2.

when vegans have sex they ask to be artichoked. i will not be reading any replies to this tweet.


Twitter: @notviking

3.

pee after sex or you will get a tgi friday’s


Twitter: @coolbutpoorguy

4.

pee after sex or else you’ll get another U2 album automatically added to your phone.


Twitter: @muhcoochee

5.

british people be having sex like:

mmmm yes splendid ah indeed scrumptious carry on good heavens i’m arriving


Twitter: @yung_butters

6.

This girl told me she liked to be teased in the bedroom so we laid down and I said her new glasses looked stupid and she starts crying. wtf?


Twitter: @superduperkewl

7.

Yeah sex is great but have you ever had gay sex


Twitter: @StixilFox

8.

i was having sex once and the girl said “cum for me” and i thought she said “comfort me” so i stopped n i hugged her


Twitter: @jedifeminist

9.

“your sex toy will be shipped in a discreet package”

the package:


Twitter: @williamvercetti

10.

men cum in 60 seconds and say they wanna make a sex tape.. you mean a tik tok bro?


Twitter: @E11ieHamnett

11.

“you’re so funny” thanks i did not have sex in high school


Twitter: @ElyKreimendahl

12.

if i had premarital sex with you. you are not my ex or a body. you are a sin. i repel you in the name of god. and my body count is back to 0, amen.


Twitter: @officialmarsp

13.

Romance: During lovemaking you ask your gf to put her finger in your butt. She does & when she pulls it out there’s an engagement ring on it


Twitter: @Leemanish

14.

if sex before marriage is a Sin, does that make sex after marriage a Cos or a Tan? https://t.co/0SczXHP2EX


Twitter: @abdulllllaaaaaa

15.

“losing/taking virginity”

– turns sex into an object
– places pressure on the decision
– you don’t actually lose or take anything ?

“sexual debut”

– exciting
– all focus is on u
– suggests a musical number is involved


Twitter: @lottydoes

16.

I dead ass ate pineapples for a month and this boy told me my pussy tasted like cheetos sooo y’all lying out here


Twitter: @dominicanraq

17.

Men will literally nut 💦 45 seconds into sex and then have the audacity to ask if you came? 🤔🙄 YEAH I CAME.. TO THE WRONG GAWDDAMN HOUSE! 🤦🏽‍♂️🙄😩


Twitter: @MilanChrisGordy



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